Women Empowerment: Putting an End to VAW

By Ciela Base

"I adore you, Lupe," he said tonelessly.

She strained forward avidly, "What? What did you say?" she screamed.

And he, in his dead voice: "That I adore you. That I adore you. That I worship you. That the air you breathe and the ground you tread is so holy to me. That I am your dog, your slave..."

But it was still not enough. Her fists were still clenched, and she cried: "Then come, crawl on the floor, and kiss my feet!"

Without moment's hesitation, he sprawled down flat and, working his arms and legs, gaspingly clawed his way across the floor, like a great agonized lizard, the woman steadily backing away as he approached… He lay exhausted at her feet, his face flat on the floor. She raised her skirts and contemptuously thrust out a naked foot. He lifted his dripping face and touched his bruised lips to her toes; lifted his hands and grasped the white foot and kiss it savagely—kissed the step, the sole, the frail ankle...

- THE SUMMER SOLSTICE by Nick Joaquin

Black eye. Broken rib. Bruises all over. How much should a woman suffer before she finally decides to pack her bags and leave –without looking back?

Believe me, no one can tell, for it is not the tears that she cried, or the pain that she went through, nor the many wounds that she nursed, that would convince her that it is time to put an end to the miserable relationship.

And I do not blame her. It would seem irrational and stupid, indeed, to allow oneself to be kicked and slapped and beaten up by a man who was supposed to be one’s husband or partner, and to allow such violence and cruelty to happen again and again, by not doing anything and by keeping one’s silence, is beyond many people’s comprehension.

Many people do not understand, however, that violence against women is not just a question of men and women’s differences in physical strength. Violence against women, according to the United Nations Declaration on the Elimination of Violence against Women, "is a manifestation of historically unequal power relations between men and women which have led to domination over and discrimination against women by men and to the prevention of the full advancement of women."

This unequal power relations, sad to say, still exists and is constantly being perpetrated by many factors –conservative social norms which still hold the woman captive to traditional roles; the media, which, unfortunately at this modern age, has seen women’s potential to sell products in the market by exploiting their image as sexual objects; and politics, which, as in the Philippines, is still not free from religious influence, to the detriment of women whose rights, such as for instance the right to reproductive health, are not put into law due to a vigorous religious opposition.

Violence against women is just one of the many crucial social mechanisms by which women are forced into a subservient role. To end violence by providing a law that punishes the perpetrator of violence is truly helpful and necessary, but to stop then and there is not a real solution. It’s just like dealing with the tip of the iceberg. In other words, the Anti-VAWC Law is not a cure-all. This I learned from my interaction with some women who actually experienced violence from their husbands or partners.

To end violence, we must address the root cause of the problem. We need to focus on the individual. We must understand a woman’s concern, how she feels, what she values.When a wife was hit for the first time, she probably might consider leaving her husband. And she will most likely leave him –if she only thinks of herself. But she has other things to consider, like: What will happen to the children? How will she raise them on her own when she has no job? And can she really let them grow up without a father? What would her parents say? They’d probably tell her that a misunderstanding between spouses is normal. That she must be patient with him. That all would be well again. And the neighbors? They would surely judge her, blame her, and call her a bad wife. Her failed marriage would surely be the subject of gossips.

Understandably, the wife, after all such considerations, will most likely be discouraged from leaving her husband and more so, from filing a case against him. What’s a few bruises anyway compared with the hardship that a broken family and a besmirched reputation would cause her children? She would then just forget about what happened in the vain hope of changing her husband someday into the man she dreams him to become.

In such a situation, repeated violence is most likely to occur, with the woman trapped in the cycle. Most women do not report incidences of violence against them for various reasons. Filing a case against the abusive husband is not usually an option. At most, the woman’s complaint only reaches as far as the barangay officials, who would try to settle the spouses’ domestic problem by compromise. And even in the rare case that a formal complaint has been filed, the woman would usually desist from pursuing the case. And it’s not because she is stupid or irrational, but because of the many social and economic constraints that render her powerless. The law is there, yes. But is she even remotely aware of how it works? And even if she does have a good understanding of the law, will she ever make use of it given the many considerations that rattle her mind? Interestingly, the battered woman may be very understanding and forgiving of her husband or partner for she might actually love the man, despite his cruelty. Add to this the common belief that it is the woman’s duty to preserve the marriage or the common-law relationship for the children’s sake, and the fact that the woman is usually jobless and has no other place to go. The solution, thus, may seem plain and simple enough to many of us –just leave the man or send him to jail. But to most battered women, it is a terribly complex problem.

To end violence against women, it is therefore essential to provide an environment where women are free to think, to act, and to express themselves. The fight against violence should not end with the passage of the Anti-VAWC Law. Women should be made aware of the law –how it works, its consequences, the remedies it provides. They should be given an adequate legal assistance. They should be engaged in social activities that would allow them independence. They should not be marginalized but should instead be given equal participation in politics. They should be given equal work opportunities so that they would not wholly rely upon men for their economic and financial needs.

Women empowerment is the key to ending violence against women. An empowered woman can think, act and speak for herself. An empowered woman is not economically, legally or socially dependent on her husband or partner. An empowered woman will not allow herself or her children to be treated cruelly. And most of all, an empowered woman has the courage not only to assert her right but also to fight for the rights of other women –even if her life is threatened, even if her acts are frowned upon for being contrary to conventional social norms and even if she’s called a bad wife. For nothing is more important to an empowered woman than protecting her dignity, maintaining her self-respect and keeping her freedom.